Are we killing our daughters?

I am very upset today. Since yesterday, I read two news of dowry related deaths. Now you may ask "What is new in that? So many girls have become dowry victims in the past". That is true. Even today many girls are facing dowry related problems or even deaths. The situation is the same in rural as well as urban areas.

What made me worried in both these incidents is that these girls were highly educated. One was a doctor and another a software engineer. They were married to equally qualified boys from well-to-do families. Their parents have already given enough(?) dowry. Still these poor girls had such an unfortunate fate.

A few years ago in some seminar I had heard that illiteracy is one of the causes behind dowry related incidents. We need to educate girls so that they will become independent and that will reduce the dowry incidents too. But I can not see this happening. Every alternate day, we read the news of dowry deaths. Many of the victims and their families are well educated. It is contradictory to the theory of illiteracy-dependence-dowry.

Today people have recognized the importance of educating girls but in a wrong sense. Now it is being related to heavy pay packages. Every educated girl wants a life partner with handsome salary. There are people who educate their daughters only to find a wealthy groom for them. Parents often do not pay enough attention to other factors like culture, values of the family where they tend to send their daughters.

Social factors also come in the picture here. Right from childhood, girls are taught to make adjustments. So even if parents find something different, they feel that their child will adjust slowly. Spoken and unspoken demands of the groom's family are accepted due to society's fear.

Another big mistake parents commit is, thinking that their daughter is not their responsibility after her marriage. In many cases, even though the girls turn to their parents and brothers for support, they themselves take her to the in-laws and husband. I feel it like taking your own helpless cow to a butcher. No matter how educated people have become today, a married girl staying with her parents is still a topic of social criticism.

Our girls are educated today. They are financially independent. But what about the psychological support they need in their hour of crisis? Isn't it parent's responsibility to support them mentally? I request all the parents and brothers out there, do not turn your back at your dear daughters and sisters. Verify those complaints, keep in touch with her. Do not let her feel that she is alone and there is no way other than death. If the need arises do not hesitate to let her stay with you. Be her strength and help her to rebuild her life.